. Advice Coming From A Divorce Attorney
I believe that divorce is probably one of the biggest epidemics in our current society that isn't being recognized or treated as such. As a marriage and family therapist, without a doubt divorce is something that I am curious about because it is something that I am spending my life to fight against. I am certainly not ignorant enough to believe that I will see all cases of divorce end during my lifetime, nor am I ignorant enough to believe that all divorce cases even should be prevented. I'm, however, perhaps ignorant in my belief that it is typically crazy for those considering divorce to find advice from a divorce attorney.
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Now, most of you are thinking I'm crazy. Who would go to a divorce attorney for advice about their failing marraige? Many people, sadly. I had no idea until I began working with marriages and families in crisis just how many individuals and even couples were seeking refuge and advice with their divorce attorney.
I was overwhelmed by my new understanding for one primary reason. Have people considering getting a divorce forgotten that a divorce attorney is the very last individual who will be concerned with them repairing a broken marriage? A divorce attorney makes a living helping married people get divorced while getting as many benefits from the divorce as possible. Then why should you would any nearly-divorced person go to a divorce attorney in hopes of fixing their marraige?
My advice to anyone struggling in their marriage is to make a scheduled appointment to visit an expert counselor or a marriage therapist. The main answer why I suggest this is because in general, counselors and therapists are people who deeply want to see marriages and families restored instead of torn apart. If I am looking for someone to help me fix my car, then it is far wiser to get help from an individual who actually believes that cars can be fixed, right? Naturally. The same is true with marriage. Do not go for help to someone who believes that marriages should end easily and for any reason at all. Go instead to a professional who is trained in giving you wisdom about ways to make your relationship work.
Use caution though, not to ever put the full blame for the problems in the relationship all on one of you. It involves two to make or break a relationship. Some people may argue that it only takes one individual to ruin a relationship however if you simply give it some thought when the problems get big if you both do not address them then the relationship is in deep trouble.
The counselor you decide on can act as a neutral alternative party which will help you go through all of the crap which has paralyzed both of you for so long. The counselor may help keep your lines of communication open and keep things moving forward plus try to keep the fighting at a minimum.